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Who knows ..

I’m not mad, or sad because I already saw this situation coming from miles away. Ha, saying Goodbye hopefully won’t be diffictult. I’m thinking of moving schools. Real Talk, Yeah I miss the friends I”m at school with right now but how do we all call each other friends when we all talk shit about each other and straight up most of us are fake to one another. When if I move schools I know I’m going to be alright. My drama level ain’t as high & I know I’m actully wanted over there. School work is 10 times easier than over here. I’m thinking so much, that I should have moved to Hawaii when I had the chance too. Las Vegas ain’t the place for me, nor is it a place for kids. So what! I’ve done everything a teenage kid could do here in Vegas besides gambling but that ain’t my thing. I’m just worried that if I do move I’m going to make my parents exspecially my dad feel as if our whole family living in Las Vegas for this long was a waste of all of our time. Next thing! Who would of known like “you” would be so difficult & stuff. Yeah, we all know what’s really going on you don’t even have to say a word. From your different tone & different texrt messages I recieved I can tell something ain’t right. I believe our vibe is lost & can’t be found. There’s no point in looking for something that’s not worth the treasure when you find it. I hope your satisfied with whatever your doing, or going to choose. Real Talk! I would punch that bitch. Fuck her! For calling me names, and you trying to defend her oh hell no. FUCK THAT SHIT! For right now, missing you won’t be an issue. I wonder if that bitch is satisfied. Fuck her, can she leave to the Philipines already? Lol. & nope I’m not sorry for anything I’ve done to her.

Him :D

I don’t want to jinx anything I’m feeling & what I want from happening. So I’ll keep it short. I never knew how much you could miss someone even if nothing is offical. I didn’t expect any of this to happen to me, but I’m happy it did. I just want to say I’m very THANKFUL for everything I have in life. Never going to take anything for granted. He likes my tattoo [= 789 I don’t want to admit it but I’m falling for him :O

Just when you thought it was good enough ..

Today has been too wierd. I say I want to hook up with other people. I got 3 niggas on my balls, but still I do’t wany of them like a dumb hard deaded person I just want you. You tell me all the good & happy stuff than tell others what’s real and how you really feel about me. Yeah, I don’t know which side to believe. You say you miss & love me. Ha, really? It’s been only a day, and I must admist I was dieing without talking or texting you. Yesterday was the most slowest day ever counting ever single hour as it passed by. Now there’s today, and ehh I guess I’m having a better day than others, right? .. It’s Best Friend’s birthday, Ha someone in our crew is finally the same age as me ^_^ aha, only one more too go than we good :D Lol. @ times I still think your talking to “her” I know it’s just Myspace & whatever but why am I fuck’in last on your top? Really! Wtf! .. Grrrr this guy is making me mad, and I’m not sure he knows how much. Tomorrow is hopefully something worth waiting for! If not, than oh well I got 4th of July. I just wish, you could tell what’s real! Your either hurting me, or loving me. & either way .. I’m going to have to deal with it so tell me now, so I can soak in everything before school starts and can walk with my head held high at least. I can’t wait for my BITCH to leave fuck’in Vegas! Yeah, Bitch I look at your dumbass tumblr. & wahhh you don’t even know I have one so STFU! Nobody fuck’in cares about your FAT ASS! FUCK YOU & YOUR DUMB LONER LIFE TOO! I will punch a bitch; Just saying. She wants to fight for what she wants, and either that’s him or some other guy, but too me it seems like were talking about the same guy. Ha! Wow, if she really wants to fight. I’m down her ass can go back to chap, which is across town, while me I don’t care I can go back to DP or Eldorado, either or I’ll still be closer to him than your bitchass! FUCKER! ..

The End ..

ALL things come to an end, and I know that. Didn’t expect it to happen. Either I don’t care, or the situation hasn’t hit me yet because I don’t see tears coming down my eyes. Most people who said back down already long time ago was RIGHT all along, but I was to hard headed to listen and take in the advice they had for me. It’s wierd not having him here, but like always there’s a bridge and you just have to get over it. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah everything happens for a reason. I wish him and his ex-girlfriend the best in whatever happens to them. I can’t really hate on something I”m not fully aware of, you know? .. All in all the ride was good while i lasted, and I’m ready for the next. I might take my chances, but at the same note I might chill & relax for a ride that’s worth my time waiting in line for, and worth the ride. Sorry to those who I didn’t listen too, sorry I’m such a hard head, but what can I say it runs in the family ^_^

In the end ..

I just want to make this one short. Life is too short to complain what’s offical & what’s not. Enjoy what you do have in life, and what’s truely infront you. Never let a boring second pass you by .. You’ll always have people wanting and waiting for you to fail, but hey it’s life. You can’t stop it. All you can do is live with it, and just work around it. Life can be taken away from you faster than you can blink your eyes. It’s ashame people are losing contact with each other, for dumb reasons. I’m very lucky to say my best friends are the best, and it’s been years for how long they have been holding me down :D Long story short, things take time, and good come to people that wait. Don’t go over dramatic when things don’t go your way.

My situation ..

Ha, I’m not quite sure how to blog. But here I’ll give it a shot! Lets see I’m six teen & never been in love and in a way trying to avoid it from ever happening anytime soon. I’ve seen what “love” can do to relationships and not to affend anyone I wouldn’t want to go down that road. Most people say I’m kind of dumb for still “talking” to this one guy, but I’m not sure to explain to everyone how I feel at times. Sometimes I feel as if everything is good and nothing could ruin it, than the next feels as if I would want none of this to be going on. Too myself I do feel as if I’m getting played, but I’m to hard headed & blind to realize whats really infront me. I’ve caught him in lies, but never brought it up & when I did wrong I told him, Ha well “some” of the time. Seems as if when I do bring dumb stuff up, it just makes me look bad, and I know bringing up the past of what he did would just make the situation worst than wheer it already is. You know? .. It’s been 3 going on 4 years of how long his ex-firlfriend has been wanting to kill me, shoot me, fight me, punch me, etc .. I wish they would just get together, so I could be left alone & forced to move on to someone new. If I could see one thing into the future is if I’m wasting my time right now, because if I am, I would quit this thing me and him have and get on the first flight and leave. Ha, even him says, it feels as if were a couple that’s on and off. WHEN WERE NOT EVEN OFFICAL! I’m going to shoot myself. I’m not sure how to handle this situation. & when I ask for help most of the time everyone else says, leave him you can always do better. Trust me! I’m looking, & I’ve talked around but no one really seems to satisfy me. Knowing in the back of my mind I need to move on, and be ready to fall on my face. I still remain here like a dumby .. FCK the quote of .. “Everything happens for a Reason” because honestly what’s the reason for all this?! Someone tell me, someone satisfy me, someone show me a sign, someone .. anyone Ughhh being a teenage girl is harder than I thought. I remember when we use to say boys are grose! Lol